Dear Divorcée- Life Changes Are Okay

Dear Divorcée,
I was recently talking with a friend about cooking meals and the like. I began to share how I used to cook three meals a day, bake my own bread from scratch ( even milling the wheat)and baking cakes and cookies. After the conversation, I realized how much my life has changed. To be honest, I felt a little sad.
I felt a little sad that I really can’t devote the time to those cooking adventures on a regular basis. As a single mom of an adult daughter ( who lives on her own), and a tween daughter, I realistically couldn’t do all of those things with my current responsibilities. I had to do a little self talk. I’m not cooking and baking outside of normal meals, but it’s okay. My life is full of meaningful friendships, family, and purpose. I am in a new season, and I can’t be everything to everybody.
In this season, I have traded baking bread for writing books. I am developing programs with purpose and coaching and imparting into people on a daily basis. To God be the glory!
Life will not be the same post divorce. We must embrace the change and the current season of our lives. It’s okay if there are things that we have to put on the back burner as a single parent or divorcée. We lose some things but we can gain much more, just in a different way.
Embrace the exchange.
-Andrea M. Stuckey

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Dear Divorcée- Beware of Pride

Dear Divorcée,

Divorce delivers many challenging life changes. We learn to deal with our out of control emotions and a host of new tasks. It is very important that we do not allow pride to override the spiritual, physical and emotional needs of ourselves and our family.

“The end of a matter is better that its beginning, and patience is better than pride.” -Ecclesiastes 7:8

Coming out of a marriage causes unexpected emotions of all sorts to rise between both individuals. Oftentimes, there can be a sense of competition between mates. It is important to recognize what is happening and don’t allow pride to overcome you because it can be detrimental to your divorce recovery.

“When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.” – Proverbs 16:18

As you walk along your divorce journey, don’t be defined by other people’s opinions, beliefs or views. Do what is right for you and your children. Put pride aside, and focus on real issues and real needs.

Be proactive in setting up and recognizing the various support systems that you need. Don’t be afraid, embarrassed or too prideful to ask for help or support when needed. 

Blessings,

Andrea M. Stuckey

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Dear Divorcée- There are things you must do.

Dear Divorcée,

Going through a separation or divorce can be emotionally taxing. Your emotions feel up one minute and down the next. Even though you are going through the ups and downs emotionally, there still are things that you must physically do.

Separation and divorce requires certain transitions that are inevitable. Two incomes may become one. One income may now be none. Someone has to move out. If there are children involved, there may need to be co-parenting arrangements set and court dates and attorneys may need to be contacted.

Even though the emotions are overtaking you, you still have to take care of the business pieces of divorce. It may be tough but very necessary.

I just want to encourage you to begin to think about your future, and the necessities that must be done.

Here are a few tips on what you may need to do:

  • Gather all financial statements/documents
  • Switch necessary accounts that need to be in your name only. Ie; cell phone
  • Rent a PO Box to secure privacy for important mail
  • Check your credit report
  • Open a savings/checking acct in your name only if you don’t have one.
  • Schedule co-parenting agreement/calendar

You are more than capable. Be encouraged.

-Andrea Stuckey

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