Dear Divorcée – Bury Bitterness

Dear Divorcée,

Coming out of a marriage it is very necessary to reflect on the relationship and acknowledge what really took place, take ownership of our contribution to the breakdown of the marriage and move forward.

Anger is a very normal part of the divorce recovery process and is very easy to identify because it displays itself outwardly. However, bitterness is a subtle emotion that is quiet and lays dormant, as an individual is resentful of something that has happened in the past.

Bitterness often displays itself in the form of passive aggressive behavior. If not released it can grow in our head, in our hearts, and in our spirits.

“See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no ‘root of bitterness’ springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.” – Hebrews 12:15

Bitterness can take hold of our being and cause us to close off our heart as it grows a “root” within us that will keep us from moving forward in our lives with all sort of future relationships. Bitterness demonstrates itself in consistent out of control negative talk about a person, continuing rehashing of a previous negative situation, and it may also manifest in physical symptoms or disease.

It is important to really forgive others and ourselves so that we don’t allow bitterness to take a hold of or hearts, mind and spirits. Forgive, forgive, forgive.

After going through two divorces, I understand firsthand how important forgiveness is to our own individual healing process, so that we can move forward in our lives. Forgiveness will allow us to live again, love again, and begin again.


Andrea M. Stuckey











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