Dear Divorcée – You Can Still Have A Vision a For Your Life.

Dear Divorcée,How do you envision your future? Can you see yourself finally off of the emotional rollercoaster? Can you see yourself beyond the anger, hurt, and feeling of lonliness? Can you see yourself happy and fulfilled?

“A vision is not just a picture of what could be; it is an appeal to our better selves, a call to become something more.” – RosabethMoss Kanter

As I was traveling along my divorce journey, there were many days that I really could not even think about a vision for my future. I was just moving along the journey day by day. I was in a store one day, and noticed a plaque with a quote that said “Life is not about finding yourself, It’s about creating yourself.” At that moment it made me think deeply. Who did I want to become? How could I add to my life to create that individual? I bought the plaque. I hung it on the wall across from the side of the bed that I always lay down on. As I laid down each night, I’d look at that quote, and it would make me think and believe that “I” had work to do on myself. I had to be more intentional about healing myself, and developing myself. It challenged me to think of myself and my future in a different way.

Oftentimes in marriage, we have family dreams and goals, and when we find ourselves post marriage, it may be difficult to envision our future, plan and achieve goals, or perhaps even think of anything in the future. This journey of divorce is a journey, and it is an opportunity (if you will), to begin a new chapter in your life. Where do you want to be in 3 months, 6 months, and 1 year from now?

Having a vision, dream or aspiration for your future, gives you something to look forward to each and every day because you are working toward a goal of some sort. That goal will be different for everyone. Perhaps you want to learn a new skill, seek emotional support, change health and wellness goals, start a business, or develop new financial goals. Having a vision to work towards helps take your focus off of the negative, and puts you in an offensive mindset when you approach life.

I challenge you today, to write a new vison for your life. Begin to see yourself in a different space of your life. Research your aspirations, and begin to work toward your plan. It does not have to be anything major. Just do a little something every day towards your vision or goal. If you desire to write a book, just write for 15-20 minutes each day. Over time you will be an author. If you desire to gain a new skill, research what exactly it will entail, and all of the options available. You will soon see so much progress within yourself and in your life.

You can live a fulfilled life and a happy life.

Blesssings,

Andrea M. Stuckey

 

 

Dear Divorcée -Choose Happiness

Dear Divorcée,
We must be conscious of all of the deposits that we allow in our lives, that will chip away at our opportunity for a happy life.
As I initially began my divorce recovery journey, I was very fragile and full of many varying emotions. One minute I was happy, the next I was sad, fearful, and overwhelmed. I had to begin to look at the root and cause of my varying emotions.
I felt happy and excited when I was well rested, was exercising on some level, reading positive and uplifting books, and eating well. I noticed that I was unhappy and overwhelmed when I did not have proper rest, or exercise and when I reveled in old songs, watched sad movies or continued to rehash my marriage with family and friends. I realized that my happiness, peace and freedom will take a conscious effort every day of my life.
Yes, everyday. I recognize the impact of all the negativity that we are open to on a daily basis. Even to this day, there are activities that I won’t engage in. There are things that I don’t watch or listen to. There are also certain individuals that I limit my time with.
We have to make conscious decisions to choose happiness. Happiness is not dictated by life’s circumstances, it is a choice and a mindset.
As you travel along your journey, pay attention and be mindful of the deposits into your life. Recognize your feelings and emotions upon exposure to certain things.
Choose happiness.
-Andrea M. Stuckey

Dear Divorcée, -Choose Happiness

Dear Divorcée,
We must be conscious of all of the deposits that we allow in our lives, that will chip away at our opportunity for a happy life.
As I initially began my divorce recovery journey, I was very fragile and full of many varying emotions. One minute I was happy, the next I was sad, fearful, and overwhelmed. I had to begin to look at the root and cause of my varying emotions. 
I felt happy and excited when I was well rested, was exercising on some level, reading positive and uplifting books, and eating well. I noticed that I was unhappy and overwhelmed when I did not have proper rest, or exercise and when I reveled in old songs, watched sad movies or continued to rehash my marriage with family and friends. I realized that my happiness, peace and freedom will take a conscious effort every day of my life.
Yes, everyday. I recognize the impact of all the negativity that we are open to on a daily basis. Even to this day, there are activities that I won’t engage in. There are things that I don’t watch or listen to. There are also certain individuals that I limit my time with.
We have to make conscious decisions to choose happiness. Happiness is not dictated by life’s circumstances, it is a choice and a mindset. 
As you travel along your journey, pay attention and be mindful of the deposits into your life. Recognize your feelings and emotions upon exposure to certain things. 
Choose happiness.
-Andrea Stuckey

Dear Divorcée – Don’t Pick Your Old Wound.

Dear Divorcée, 
You may feel overwhelmed with the great array of tasks that are before you. You may be on that emotional roller coaster, or perhaps you are a little farther along your divorce journey. I just want you to know that time heals wounds, as long as you don’t continue to pick the scab.
As you walk along your journey, it is vital to your recovery, that the feel and own your emotions. At some point though, you must choose to accept where you are, forgive yourself, forgive your ex and leave the past in the past. Focus on the next chapter of your life. Don’t keep picking the scab of your old wound.
You are an overcomer. You now have the great opportunity to write your next chapter of your life and watch it unfold. Continue to grow and change for the better. There is so much more life to live. You will live again, love again, and laugh again. 
I promise.
-Andrea Stuckey
Divorcée Liberation Group

Live Life Luvd 

Dear Divorcée – Don’t Pick Your Old Wound.

Dear Divorcée, 
You may feel overwhelmed with the great array of tasks that are before you. You may be on that emotional roller coaster, or perhaps you are a little farther along your divorce journey. I just want you to know that time heals wounds, as long as you don’t continue to pick the scab.
As you walk along your journey, it is vital to your recovery, that the feel and own your emotions. At some point though, you must choose to accept where you are, forgive yourself, forgive your ex and leave the past in the past. Focus on the next chapter of your life. Don’t keep picking the scab of your old wound.
You are an overcomer. You now have the great opportunity to write your next chapter of your life and watch it unfold. Continue to grow and change for the better. There is so much more life to live. You will live again, love again, and laugh again. 
I promise.
-Andrea Stuckey
http://www.livelifeluvd.com

bit.ly/divorceeliberation 

Dear Divorcée – Remember Self Care

Dear Divorcée, 
Everyone has different ways of coping with divorce. Be sure that you are taking good care of yourself. I’m sure that you have heard this before, but it is imperative that you find the methods or activities that help you as you are grieving and moving through your divorce.
Even though the transition of divorce has its challenges, take this opportunity to focus on you. Find ways to help ease your stress. For me, exercise was one of the ways that helped me get through the ups and downs of both of my divorces. Writing poetry, journaling, and continued volunteering for service projects also aided in taking my mind off of some of the stressors. I also borrowed books from the library, and read as a mini “escape”. Hot baths with scented oils and a candle can do wonders as well. If there is a hobby that you’ve always wanted to try, now’s the time.
You are the only you that you have. Take special care of you. You need it and deserve it.
 “Nourishing yourself in a way that helps you blossom in the direction you want to go is attainable, and you are worth the effort. ” – Deborah Day
-Andrea Stuckey

Join Divorcée Liberation Group
Live Life Luvd Coaching

Dear Divorcée- Choose To Move Forward

Dear Divorcée,
Regardless of the situation that you have come out of, regardless of what you are going through, know that you alone are enough. You have within you, everything that you need to make it through your current situation. Even though at times your future may seem bleak, God is with you, He has a plan for you, and He has equipped you with everything that you need.
Along my first divorce journey, I didn’t know how I was going to make it when my first husband literally walked out when my oldest daughter was 16 months old. I was afraid, underemployed, and 8 hours away from my family. I was ridden with anxiety, headaches, and stomach aches. One day I was pulled over for a speeding ticket, which was a breaking point. I put my head on the steering wheel, and began to cry uncontrollably. I could feel myself losing control and wanting to cave in. I began to pray, then I took a deep breath and said out loud “I’m not going to let this take me out.” I made a decision at that moment to fight. The decision to fight all of the new challenges that I new were on the way. The decision to fight off the negative thoughts. The decision to be strong even when I really felt weak. I chose to move forward, when I really wanted to quit.
I just want you to know that moving forward is a choice. You will feel varying emotions, which is normal, but you can still chose your next step, your next path, your future life. Don’t stay stuck. You have within you everything that you need.
“Looking back isn’t going to help you. Moving forward is the thing you have to do.” -McKayla Maroney

-Andrea Stuckey