Dear Divorcée,How do you envision your future? Can you see yourself finally off of the emotional rollercoaster? Can you see yourself beyond the anger, hurt, and feeling of lonliness? Can you see yourself happy and fulfilled?
“A vision is not just a picture of what could be; it is an appeal to our better selves, a call to become something more.” – RosabethMoss Kanter
As I was traveling along my divorce journey, there were many days that I really could not even think about a vision for my future. I was just moving along the journey day by day. I was in a store one day, and noticed a plaque with a quote that said “Life is not about finding yourself, It’s about creating yourself.” At that moment it made me think deeply. Who did I want to become? How could I add to my life to create that individual? I bought the plaque. I hung it on the wall across from the side of the bed that I always lay down on. As I laid down each night, I’d look at that quote, and it would make me think and believe that “I” had work to do on myself. I had to be more intentional about healing myself, and developing myself. It challenged me to think of myself and my future in a different way.
Oftentimes in marriage, we have family dreams and goals, and when we find ourselves post marriage, it may be difficult to envision our future, plan and achieve goals, or perhaps even think of anything in the future. This journey of divorce is a journey, and it is an opportunity (if you will), to begin a new chapter in your life. Where do you want to be in 3 months, 6 months, and 1 year from now?
Having a vision, dream or aspiration for your future, gives you something to look forward to each and every day because you are working toward a goal of some sort. That goal will be different for everyone. Perhaps you want to learn a new skill, seek emotional support, change health and wellness goals, start a business, or develop new financial goals. Having a vision to work towards helps take your focus off of the negative, and puts you in an offensive mindset when you approach life.
I challenge you today, to write a new vison for your life. Begin to see yourself in a different space of your life. Research your aspirations, and begin to work toward your plan. It does not have to be anything major. Just do a little something every day towards your vision or goal. If you desire to write a book, just write for 15-20 minutes each day. Over time you will be an author. If you desire to gain a new skill, research what exactly it will entail, and all of the options available. You will soon see so much progress within yourself and in your life.
You can live a fulfilled life and a happy life.
Andrea M. Stuckey