Dear DivorcéeWhen those days or weeks come where it seems as though nothing is going right. Stand.
“You too, be patient and stand firm, the Lord’s coming is near.”-James 5:8
I can easily recall a very tough time along my divorce recovery journey where is seemed like so much was going wrong. I had been in my new location about 5 month’s working night shifts, getting off in the morning, getting a quick nap then teaching my 6yr old daughter for a few hours since I was still homeschooling at that time. After that, we’d jump into the minivan, and take my oldest daughter to outside classes either at the local community college, or at a co-op for homeschoolers. I was exhausted.
My oldest daughter has always been extremely gifted academically and athletically. She was a junior in high school, still being homeschooled and doing extremely well. She was also playing her last year of travel basketball doing well. Then it happened, the anger hit her. The anger of all of the changes, and the actual understanding that the move, the new life, was real.
Unfortunately, I became the scapegoat for all of the challenges that she was having. The anger, outbursts, and defiance were really more than I could handle. I was in a fragile state myself. I had family members, friends, and even her coach try to talk with her and encourage her. I felt helpless, at my wits end. As a forty something year old woman, I remember that I just wanted to lay my head in my mother’s lap and sob, but she was 8 hours away. And when I thought that I was feeling at the lowest as a mother, and her behavior was something that I never expected. She ran away.
Yes, she ran away. She got on a bus and went two hours away to a friend that she played basketball with in another city. I was devastated. I had to still work and take care of my youngest daughter. I would go in the bathroom at work and cry.
My daughter did call and let me know that she was ok, but did not say where she was. She was gone for two weeks. My heart ached. I prayed and prayed and prayed. I knew that she was ok. God began to give me peace in a situation that I did not understand. I had to stand and trust that He would take care of her, and me.
Long story short, I ended up going to pick her up. She was fine. However, it was at that time that I knew she needed counseling. As adults, I think that we can easily overlook the feelings that teens go through during a divorce. We may think that they know the why of the divorce because they are older, and that they should understand. I found that teens process divorce very differently. Counseling was the best thing that ever happened to her. She went on to graduate the following year from our local public school with honors, and had been inducted into the National Honor Society. She played basketball her senior year, and went on to receive academic scholarship offers from many schools, and ultimately chose a school where she studied civil engineering.
When things seem like they are falling apart, or are really falling apart, keep the faith and continue to stand. God will see you through any situation.
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