Dear Divorcée-Be your beautiful self.

Dear Divorcée,
As I reflect on my past marriages, I often have to remind myself of the role that I played in the termination of both of my marriages. There were many other issues in both marriages, but I had to take ownership of my part. I had to own that I was not authentic.

Oftentimes we enter into relationships as ourselves and all of the things that we love and desire, along with our dreams and ambitions. Sometimes we want to be loved so much that we think that changing who we really are to fit the mold of someone else’s needs and desires, will guarantee a life of love.
For me, I can look back and see where I lost myself in both relationships. I didn’t know that I had lost myself at that time. But looking back, I recognize that as I gave up my freedom to be me, my happiness began to decline. That issue and choice was mine and mine alone. 
We should always be changing and growing along life’s journey, but our true core should remain the same. God made each of us unique, and we are enough just the way we are. We can be ourselves as long as we aren’t hurting others. 
I have moved beyond that place, and I am continuously growing. I recognize that I am not perfect. However, I have embraced all of me and am happy to be free within myself. I am happy with all of my strengths and flaws. I choose to be free and remain my free self, so that God can use me as He sees fit.
Be you! People should love you for who you are. That’s in your family, friendships and all relationships. Take time to get to know yourself. Don’t change to fit a mold like I did. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!
-Andrea Stuckey
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Dear Divorcée-Find small ways…

Dear Divorcee,
No matter where you are on this journey, time will strengthen you.
After my first marriage, with a little toddler in tow, my energy was drained. Working and carrying all of the responsibilities on my shoulders was at times more than I could bear. I remember getting off of work, going home, and taking a 30 minute nap before picking up my daughter from daycare. That quick nap re-energized me so that I could deal with my toddler that evening. Find small ways to give yourself what you need, and strengthen yourself when you need it. I’m still very good at fitting in quick naps. 🙂 Have an encouraging week!

Dear Divorcée-One day at a time.

Dear Divorcée,

I know how it feels to be walking the divorce journey. I have been divorced twice.
My first husband literally walked out (via taxi) when my oldest daughter (now22) was 16 months old. I was in a state away from my family, and was not working full-time but at a new job. The car needed service work and was not drivable. I had to sink or swim.
I was able to have some family visit temporarily to help with child care while I quietly took a taxi to and from work, until I could get reliable transportation.
I was broke, embarrassed, stressed, angry, and wanted to throw in the towel. I prayed to God for strength, that I’d just get through one day at a time. I focused on what was important for that day only, then the next and then the next.
You may find yourself broke, embarrassed, stressed, or angry. You may be feeling like you want to throw in the towel. DON’T! God will strengthen you. You can, and you will make it. ONE DAY AT A TIME…

-Andrea Stuckey