Dear Divorcée, – Why Confident Women Win!

Are you feeling confident? Many women don’t after a divorce. The challenges, changes, and emotional ebbs and flow can shake the belief that they have in themselves and their abilities.

Confidence is an important factor in moving forward after a divorce.

Confident women win because they are not afraid to self-assess. When you self assess, you’re able to become aware of the areas of your life that are going great as well as the areas that need attention, growth and change.

Once you’re aware of your real strengths, your real talents and your real gifts, then you’re able to position yourself in those strengths and talents. You don’t focus on your weaknesses. You show up in your strengths, and you show up in your talents.

That area of confidence breeds success and that success breeds more confidence, and then that confidence breeds more success.

If you are challenged in this area of your life, if you’re not feeling very confident, if you’re not really feeling strong or don’t have a high self-belief in your ability to execute or your ability to accomplish your goals, let’s talk. Go to:

Dear Divorcée, Manage Overwhelm

Dear Divorcée,

“A woman who lives with the stress of an overwhelmed schedule will often ache with the sadness of an underwhelmed soul.”-Lysa Terkeurst

Oftentimes, for those that are newly divorced, there are a great deal of changes going on, which can cause extreme overwhelm. When we become overwhelmed, we often just stop and do nothing, which leaves many incomplete tasks.

I remember as I was going through my second divorce, there was a great feeling of overwhelm as I tried to work full time and continue to homeschool both of my children with all of the other new life responsibilities. I was trying to do it all. I had to learn to let some things go, and seek help and support where needed.

This week, take time to focus on letting go of things that may be overwhelming you, and ask for help and support in other areas where it is needed.

Here are a few tips to manage overwhelm:

1. Know the season of life you are in. Gage your season based on the number of activities, social events, personal projects, travel and children’s activities per quarter.

Is it an intensely busy-season?

Know how each quarter will play out.

2. Gain a strategy and plan for a busy season.. to guard from burnout. Don’t have unrealistic expectations. During busy seasons do not take on any new activities.

3. Be focused. Keep your goals in front of you such as your prayer time, workout schedule, meal plans, and self care.

You must stay aware of what’s happening in your life.

Practice managing overwhelm and take great care of yourself. Let me know if these tips help. I’d love to hear from you.

If you need help with managing overwhelm, schedule a consultation here:

Andrea M. Stuckey, LifeCoach

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Dear Divorcée, Making Decisions is Hard..

Dear Divorcée,

When I was going through my second divorce, I often found myself very indecisive about many things and afraid to make the necessary changes in my life. I was used to having someone else to bounce thoughts of, or to make the decision for me.

Life during and after divorce can bring you face to face with many challenges. When you’re faced with those challenges, tests and tasks to do, life can become overwhelming.

It can be overwhelming because of the fact that oftentimes, you will not make any decisions, and you will not take any action, and ultimately nothing changes.

The cycle seems to continually repeat itself and you may be finding yourself facing the same challenges over and over again.

When I began to trust myself to make decisions and act on them, my world began to change. Did I make wrong decisions? Absolutely, but I learned, and built my decision making muscle.

All decisions aren’t easy, but are usually necessary if you want to rebuild and redefine who you are, and create the new life that you want to live.

You deserve more.

What decision do you need to make in your life today?

If you need an unbiased space to work through your challenge, I’d love to help you gain clarity and find a solution.

You can sign up here:

Feel free to contact me at

~Coach Andrea💜

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Andrea M. Stuckey

Coach, Author, Speaker

Dear Divorcée – Focus on You!

“Nourishing yourself in a way that helps you blossom in the direction you want to go is attainable, and you are worth the effort. ” – Deborah Day

Even though the transition of divorce has its challenges, take this opportunity to focus on you. Find ways to help ease your stress.

For me, exercise was one of the ways that helped me get through the ups and downs of both of my divorces. Writing poetry, journaling, and continued volunteering for service projects also aided in taking my mind off of some of the stressors. I also borrowed books from the library, and read as a mini “escape”. Hot baths with scented oils and a candle can do wonders as well. If there is a hobby that you’ve always wanted to try, now’s the time.

You are the only you that you have. You are your #1 asset. Take special care of you. You need it and you deserve it.

Andrea M. Stuckey

Coach, Author, Speaker

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Dear Divorceé, – Find The Real You!

Dear Divorceé,

Whew! I just crossed the ninth year of being single after my second divorce. It has been an amazing journey. I have changed tremendously and I have also learned so much more about myself.

You may have already noticed a lot more about yourself being single. In relationships, consciously or unconsciously women tend to hide behind their spouse’s likes, wants, needs, interests and desires. Once you become single, initially you may feel at a loss about things to do, and things to plan for. However, over time you will be able to recognize new traits and interests that you have had but have been laying dormant inside of you.

It’s time to resurrect those interests. When you resurrect those interests, you begin to learn more about your capabilities and your strengths. It doesn’t matter what it is. It could be a hobby, new sport, business idea, community idea or service project. Step out of your comfort zone and begin to develop that interest. Perform research, read books and magazines, take a class or course or lesson to kickstart something new. You will learn so much more about yourself and your abilities and you’ll pick up a little happiness and joy along the way.

Doing what you love is very rewarding. I love coaching women and helping them create the changes that they want to see in their lives. The single journey helped me to uncover my gifts and talents to utilize in a purpose driven lifestyle. I hope that you find that on your journey as well.

Divorce is not the end all be all. There is so much more life for you to live.

Keep moving forward.

Andrea M. Stuckey

Coach, Author, Speaker

Divorced Women Unite™️

Dear Divorcée, Dealing with Self Doubt

Dear Divorcée,
I have self-doubt. I have insecurity. I have a fear of failure. I have nights when I show up at the arena and I’m like, ‘My back hurts, my feet hurt, my knees hurt. I don’t have it. I just want to chill.’ We all have self-doubt. You don’t deny it, but you also don’t capitulate to it. You embrace it. -Kobe Bryant
How many times have you had a day like Kobe stated in the above quote? Maybe you just didn’t want to get up, or you were afraid of something that you had to do. It happens to us all, especially when going through a divorce. Self-doubts and fears are normal, but it’s what we do with those thoughts that makes the difference in our lives.

✨..casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ..-2Corinthians 10:5✨
Contrary to popular belief, we can choose what we decide to think or meditate on. Going through a divorce can bring about many negative thoughts. When negative thoughts come, we must quickly replace them with something positive. When fear approaches, we mustn’t allow it to thwart our growth or progress. We must step out and do the thing that fears us anyway.
Pay close attention to your thoughts on a daily basis. Stay encouraged and do great things!
Keep Moving Forward,

Andrea M. Stuckey

Coach, Author, Speaker

Live Life Luvd Coaching LLC
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Dear Divorcée,  Don’t Focus On Past Mistakes

If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you. What we call failure is not the falling down but the staying down. -Mary Pickford

Dear Divorcée,

Know that any mistakes or failures that you may have made, are in the past and will stay in the past. Regardless of whether you’ve been through a divorce, regardless of whether you’ve had many losses in your life, regardless of whether you’re at a major cross road in your life right now, the past does not dictate your future. 
You have the ability to move beyond your past hurts, and you have the ability to move beyond your past failures. There is always another chance or opportunity for you to live better, love better, and allow joy into your life.
The first step is to forgive yourself. Don’t be your own roadblock to a happy and successful future. Forgive yourself and allow yourself to learn from the life lessons and move forward. Secondly, take time to gain clarity about what you REALLY want in your life. Think about that. What would you change? What would you absolutely love to have present in your life? What would you love to be doing on a regular basis?

Write the answers to those questions in a notebook or journal so that you can frequently view your desires and keep them before you. 
*Whatever you focus on will manifest.*
~Andrea M. Stuckey
Coach|Speaker |Author

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Dear Divorcée, – Rebuild Your Self Confidence.

Dear Divorcée,

The way to develop self-confidence is to do the thing you fear and get a record of successful experiences behind you. -William Jennings Bryan

Oftentimes, divorce has a way of stripping away self confidence. The trials and transitions can make you feel incapable, or fearful. One of the ways that self confidence is built, is through pushing yourself beyond fear and making accomplishments. Think back over the course of your life, and reflect on something that you were afraid of, but pushed through anyway. 
For women, having your first child is a great example. When the labor pains arrive, there is a sense of fear of the unknown. As the labor intensifies, you get impatient, but when it’s time to push, you give it all you’ve got. You push beyond the pain and discomfort to birth your baby and when you see that little face, you recognize that it was worth it, and you felt accomplished.
In order to rebuild your self confidence, you must push beyond your pain and fears. Begin with setting small goals for yourself on a weekly basis. As you accomplish those goals, it will continuously build your confidence a little at a time. Give yourself time and grace to rebuild.

What was the last thing thing that you accomplished and felt really good about? Focus on that, and know that you have great abilities within you. Keep Moving Forward.

Andrea M. Stuckey

Live Life Luvd Coaching 

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Dear Divorcée, – Dealing with Your Former Spouse’s New Relationship

Dear Divorcée,
There will come a time following a divorce, when you are coparenting, and a new romantic relationship comes on the scene. How will you handle it?
New relationships and remarriage of a former spouse can re-trigger the grieving process. If you have children and are coparenting, there are several things that you want to keep in mind in order for your children to remain stable during those transitions.
1. Don’t make your child feel disloyal for enjoying time with their other parent and new relationship.
        Allow them to thoroughly enjoy time with their other parent without feeling guilty.

2. Be accepting of the new relationship. 
        Discuss any true concerns with the other parent and not to the children.

3. Be flexible.
        Recognize that with a new mate and responsibilities that the other parent’s schedule may change until the transition becomes normal for all involved.

4. Keep a positive attitude. 
        Your children are watching you and will feed off of your behavior.

5. If you truly believe that the children are in danger or harms way, seek the proper support or legal counsel.
        Be sure not to conjure up issues that are not true or important because of your own emotional pain. It will only hurt the children in the long run.

Transitioning after a divorce encompasses a host of new territory for all involved. Always make it a habit to be fair and do the right thing, so that the right thing will always be done to you.
Hang in there! You are so much stronger than you think.

-Andrea M. Stuckey 
Live Life Luvd

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Dear Divorcèe, Remain Open for Healthy Relationships 

Dear Divorcée, 

Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom. – Rabindranath Tagore
As you travel along your divorce journey, recognize that there is no set time for entering the realm of finding a new intimate relationship. Everyone’s journey is different, so don’t allow others to push you into a space that you are not ready for. However, when you find that you are ready to enter the dating space, remember that your goal is to seek a relationship that is healthy.

Oftentimes, it is easy to get caught up in the physical, social and spiritual attributes of a person, and forget the real qualities that foster a healthy, lasting relationship. You may have been in unhealthy relationships from the very beginning and may find it challenging to recognize what a healthy relationship looks like.

One of the key factors to consider before seeking a relationship, is to recognize where you are individually in your personal journey of life. That means, what are you doing that is great, or not so great physically, spiritually, emotionally, financially, socially, and occupationally? You see, you don’t have to be perfect, however, you should be stable in each of those areas of your life before you decide to invite another individual into it. When you are broken and fragile, you invite broken and fragile into your life, and you know that the combination of broken + broken= broken.

It is imperative to take time after your divorce to heal and work on every area of your life. Divorce is a major life altering event that can shift various aspects of your life. Give yourself the opportunity to get to know you better, and gain clarity about what you truly want and need in the next chapter of your life.

A few key points to remember is that healthy relationships allow for individuality. Having your own interests and individual lives is important. Individuality keeps things interesting in the relationship, allows each person to be authentic, keeps personal boundaries in place, builds individual confidence and prevents each person from losing themselves while in the relationship. In addition, healthy relationships invite change and growth without insecurity, allowing each person to maximize their potential. All of those factors foster increased intimacy between mates.

Now on the other hand, unhealthy relationships are all consuming, discourage individual growth, and are full of insecurity and lack of trust. All attributes which are a recipe for an unhealthy, unhappy relationship over time.

Remain open and optimistic about what you want in your future relationships. Take your time, give yourself grace, and expect that the next chapter of your life will be better than the former.

Keep Moving Forward!

 Andrea M. Stuckey

Life Coach|Author|Speaker

Picking Up the Pieces After Divorce ebook
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